"They" Piss Me Off

i just started to notice that i'm often irritated.

a select number of you may be guffawing your asses off by this time, especially for those who have known me for quite some time now. i mean, priests, nuns, elevator people, people in the office, people outside the office, bosses, subordinates, black people, white people, yellow people, Filipinos (Tagalogs and non-Tagalogs), Fil-Ams, celebrities, talk show hosts, noontime show hosts, sports show hosts, the rich, the poor, the profane, the intelligent people, the stupid, ignorant morons, policemen, firemen, doctors, lawyers, housewives, househusbands, cab drivers, bus drivers, tricycle drivers, jeepney drivers, Filipino drivers... nothing is sacred. there. period. crucify me. but nothing IS sacred. i believe up to this day that 99% of people on this sorry earth are full of shit. (95% on a good day when i've managed at least three hours of sleep and am left in peace in quiet in my first two hours of waking...). yeah, yeah, everybody says that these days to sound cool, but i, for one, have stood my ground and have told people smack in the face (or indirectly through the flip of a finger- guess which one...) how i felt about "their kind." why? because "they" seem to talk a lot... "they" don't know a goddamn thing about elevator etiquette, or worse, use... "they" cram God down your throat and forget about common sense... "they" blame the devil for ignorance... "they" can't look no further than their dirty feet yet go to church every sunday... "they" don't know how to line up... "they" don't know what they want but complain about what "they" don't have.

"they" choose to persecute the "they" they see in me.

i'm not complaining nor bickering... i find it amusing. i find it wonderful how people's egos have gotten so big that they have no more space for the ioat of a brain they used to have.

as you can tell, it's been quite the week.

then i have this conversation with someone who is not part of the "they" club.

the results were interesting.

She: "hey, haven't heard from you for some time. how have you been?"

Me: "you know me quite well enough, so i guess you know."

She: "wow. always has to be quite the unique answer eh? never a 'fine thank you" from you (laughs). but yeah, that's what makes you...you."

Me: "thanks for understanding. you see, people might think i'm basically a walking contradiction... i love the little details, i love the short silences... i like it when nonsense makes sense. yet i hate it when people try to squeeze out those small private details. i hate talking to people who seemingly have nothing relevant to say. i hate pretending that something is worthwhile to even mention. yet there are differences. i tell you, there's an obvious difference for me with those things. it's funny how i like to write but i can't explain it."

She: "errrrr... okay. my next question was if you wanted to get a burger. but all that stuff you just unloaded is making a cup of coffee sound more interesting. you got smokes?"

Me: "forget it. let's go for the burger. did you know the quarter pounder at mcdonald's looks like a 1/16th pounder now?
She: "no, i didn't know that. i don't really care, but if you say so, then let's see you prove it."

Me: "cool. then we can have a strawberry milkshake. i want coffee too, but this time of the night, Starbucks might be full of them "beautful people" who need three hours to finish their coffee. i might have a fit."

She: "ok then. check out that girl in the white top. doesn't she look good?"

Me: "yeah not bad to look at, but i bet you a thousand bucks she's headed to Starbucks right now to do her thing. you know...she's one of 'em. i can tell."

She: "oh yeah? how?"

Me: "i dunno. i just believe so."

She: "that's sad. you never gave her a chance. i dunno... i'll let you be. and keep you company. that's all i have to offer."

Me: "...and that's all i ever ...ask...for. Hmmm... kind of gets me thinking."

She: "maybe you should stop thinking. i think you think too much."

Me: "you're right. c'mon, let's make fun of the beggars along the way."

+++


"23"

I felt for sure last night
That once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry every day

I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live...
Not stopping...
It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready

Holding on tight
Don't give away the end,
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23

I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets